My name is Nina Cox and I’m an Independent Sales Director and Southlake Beauty Consultant for Mary Kay and this is my show called Beauty Today.
In my opinion beauty always starts from within. As you grow in faith, your beauty will shine. You can improve yourself and grow and be successful in any area you choose. Have you ever wanted success in business, to be a leader in your field, or be a great role model for your family? Last week we talked about Success through leadership. This week we will discuss the obstacles to success and leadership as well as the steps to ridding ourselves of or overcoming the obstacles. John Maxwell has impacted my journey through life and he discusses leadership in one of his free e-newsletters. The article can be found at INJOY.com and this commentary is used by permission from Dr. John C. Maxwell’s free monthly e-newsletter ‘Leadership Wired’.
In my life’s experience, the problems of a person’s past influence them in one of two ways: they undergo either a breakdown or a breakthrough. Which path you will take? Are you heading toward a breakdown or a breakthrough?
There are several steps toward a Leadership Breakdown or Breakthrough. Let’s discuss each breakdown step individually, because just one of these could hinder the realization of your dreams and hard work or, alternatively, the steps to a breakthrough could lead you to fulfill all your dreams and reap the abundance that God has planned for your life.
Number one in the breakdown list is Comparison. This is a personal one for me. In the past several years I have looked around and compared myself to others my age or stage and many times come up short. My friends would probably be shocked at hearing this because I don’t usually say anything or let it show. But now, I have made a decision to stop doing this and go forward. Realizing what you are doing wrong is the first step to overcoming an obstacle. Making the decision to fix it is another big step. But we will get to the steps of leadership breakthrough later. I’ve learned that no matter what you’ve experienced, there are people who’ve had it better than you and done worse; and there are people who’ve had it worse than you and done better. Some very talented people miss opportunities because they were worried about what someone else was receiving or achieving. If you prepare yourself to the best of your abilities and give your all in every situation, you will be successful. You may not always win, but you will be a winner.
Number two is Rationalization. In this day and age it seems that people can rationalize any situation. Rationalization is what you tell yourself that only you believe. They are excuses and lies. Taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions instead of rationalizing is a matter of personal integrity. And integrity is the foundation of leadership.
Number three on the breakdown list is Isolation. You can’t be a leader if you’re all alone. Leadership requires teamwork, and teamwork requires people. Trying to avoid a challenge or problem by isolating yourself from everyone always results in a larger problem. You may need to separate yourself from most of the group to solve a problem; however, you need to have contact with at least one other person who can mentor you and help you through the situation. Your mentor may not be able to help you find a solution quicker, but can serve as an encourager, which is sometimes more valuable.
Breakdown number four is Regret. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is never guaranteed. As much as we would like to, we can’t go back and change what has already happened. We can only move forward and do the best we can today. Regret merely drains our energy and makes it harder to move on. Remember, today is the only time we have to love, to work, to make things count.
Five is Bitterness. Past hurts can make you bitter or better. If you hold onto disappointment you become bitter. If you learn from disappointment you have a better chance of not repeating it later on. I have found that grudges hurt me more than anyone else; therefore, clinging to bitterness wastes time and energy.
In John Maxwell’s book, “Failing Forward”, he recounts the story of Joseph of the ancient Hebrews. Joseph was thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, falsely accused, and put in jail; however, he didn’t hold a grudge against the people who wronged him. Joseph found the positive benefits in his negative experiences, and went on to be a powerful ruler in Egypt.
A leader faces many hurdles, however you become stronger and more accurate at every leap. Practice makes perfect, my dad used to say, so begin the process by practicing the following five steps.
Personal Growth is number one. Leadership, just as life, is a journey. You must continue to learn in order to lead. When you stop learning you start dying. Each day I try to learn something. I learn from listening to CD’s of other leaders in my field and in areas that I need to grow. I also love to read books, talk to a mentor or meet with other leaders. I file away inspirations and humor that I find and use them later, in this show or when I am speaking to other groups. Teachers will tell you that you also learn a great deal from teaching itself. You must be prepared to teach and this always means growth on my part. As a leader, you need to develop your own personal growth plan. The desire to grow is the first important step toward a leadership breakthrough.
Number two is Responsibility. One of the differences between a leader and a follower is the willingness to accept responsibility. A leader takes on the challenge and takes responsibility for the outcome. John D. Rockefeller, Jr. said, “I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty.” People, who take responsibility get the job done, go the extra mile, are driven by excellence, and produce regardless of the situation. In Mary Kay we call this the “and then some” that it takes to make your dreams come true.
Connection is number three in the breakthrough list. As a leader, your relationships with your team or family members will determine the effectiveness of your leadership. You need to find out where they are, move toward them, and connect with them. Remember: you can connect with people and lead them only if you value them. This is especially true with your family.
Here are some ways to connect. Make getting to know your team or family a priority. Do you know what is their favorite color, what they like to do in their spare time, or what are their dreams? Two, look for things that you have in common such as hobbies, experiences, interests. This is especially important for your spouse. When all is said and done, you will only have each other. Make sure your spouse is your friend as well as a lover and companion. Respect differences in opinions or personalities. Find out what motivates them. And include them in the process by asking for their ideas and suggestions.
Number four is Resolve. Truly effective leaders must know their priorities and be able to concentrate their time and energy on meeting goals. Someone that knows his or her priorities but lacks concentration knows what to do but never gets it done. A leader who has concentration but no priorities has excellence without progress. Productivity and success comes from concentrating 70 percent of my time and energy on my strengths, 25 percent on new things, and 5 percent on areas of weakness. Focusing on weakness is never a good idea. Mary Kay said, “What you think about, you bring about”. Learn what you do well that brings the greatest results and make it your priority, and dedicate the balance of your time to growth.
I love number five. It is a Positive Attitude. When you are leading a group of people, team or family, your attitude is extremely important. Attitudes are contagious and they will follow the example you set. If you appear irritated about your challenges, then they will become irritated too. I have a friend that recently got laid off from her job, and the message came when her daughter was in the room. She had a choice when her daughter was watching: to get mad, sad or bitter, OR analyze, say a prayer and move on. She chose the second group of actions and thus taught her daughter a very important lesson in life. Children catch more than they are taught. How do you deal with conflict and obstacles and what do the people around you learn from watching you?
Your progress and the chance for success will be hindered if your attitude isn’t right. It is impossible for us to tailor our situations to fit our lives, but it is possible to tailor our attitudes to fit our situation. Tailoring your attitude may take a lot of work. Surround yourself with positive pictures, sayings and people. Read motivational books. Then try to achieve a goal every day, small as it may be. Your attitude will become more positive as you learn make progress.
Leadership develops from the inside out. Achieving a breakthrough works the same way. You have the choice to become a more effective leader. It may mean letting go of the past and moving forward with a new focus, but you’ll be glad you did.
Nina’s Nugget: Start your growth plan today and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Be not the slave of your own past.”
My name is Nina Cox, a Southlake Beauty Consultant and an Independent Beauty Consultant with Mary Kay. I have been building my Mary Kay business for over 10 years now and have become quite successful, wining many awards. Please call me at 817-996-6586 or email me at ninacox@marykay.com for questions or assistance.